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| 2001 Magazine Cover |
Some people and friends are still asking me why I am doing this blog. . . why it is so important to me.
I believe now would be the appropriate time to share with you all what happened back in 2002, when I learned I was HIV positive and how [in the] blink of an eye, I went from being someone. . . to becoming a society labelled liability.
My early days, many of you may recall or remember me as the successor to the legendary Harry Houdini, today I am back on stage as HoudinII . . . and you can follow my tours and shows at my official website.
Below is my story which I will continue to share in the fight to educate others about the myths associated with living with HIV/AIDS. Whether straight, gay, bi-sexual, or transgender - HIV/AIDS stigma still exists. . . and simply put - it sucks!
Powerful stuff Daniel, powerful stuff.
ReplyDeleteDaniel,
ReplyDeleteIt is very hard to live the life of ups and know that in a split second it can all be taken away. I wonder what your hurt in this message is about. Is it the lost love? Lost fame? Or living with HIV? I hope it's not about the love, because that always comes from within. Fame??? Although I am sure the money is good, who needs it. The most famous artists in this world became more famous after their death than before anyone ever knew who they were. Living with HIV? You have it - you can't wash it off. You have to make it a part of your life (which I think you are).
I do not have HIV - I practice celibacy. My point in that is I have no idea what your feeling and I am sorry for that. I would hug you if I saw you. There used to be a time when HIV was first around that you did not go near anyone with open soars. I have psoriasis.. People look at me funny.
I like your blog. I like it a lot. I learn from it. I don't know how you feel about it, but you should write a book. You have some great topics (chapters) and I like how you have them titled. You have a lot to tell. You have the network - and you don't need to be blood tested for writing a book. Being the successor to Houdini is something a lot of people would be interested in reading. Title it "in the blink of an eye". That is very catchy to a reader about your art and about your personal story. You are a real person. Face it, we have come to a day in age where people want that gossip. I think that people would be inspired by a book from you. The gay and lesbian community may even endorse it. Aspiring artists in your venue may be interested in reading about how you surpassed Houdini. Someone wrote books about him. Put your name on the front cover and get the money before someone else does.
Daniel, good luck to you.
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, thank you for following my blog. I am all smiles on the inside and out that you are able to get something out of the posts.
You asked, "I wonder what your hurt in this message is about. Is it the lost love? Lost fame? Or living with HIV?"
It's about everything combined. . . it sucks that after all this time I still have yet to see my ex lover who possibly knew he gave me HIV and lied to me about it [many unanswered questions, the most important being. . . "why didn't you just tell me?"]. . . it's about having to accept a horrid truth that this one company said "the show was now a liability" and thinking to myself my dream was gone in the blink of an eye. . . and lastly. . . yes that I now have to live with HIV... well more importantly how I dealt with the aftermath and decided to not care about anything. I would never wish this upon anyone - and hope that someone will learn that it's about how one see's the greatness of life even when somsone tell's you can't because you live with this virus. . . It was my choice to go into a deep dark place which was the worst place I could have traveled. Had I just found the magic. . . heard a story of hope back in the day, just maybe I would not have beat myself up so badly back then. Today I am making up for all of that by living my dream. . . and never letting go! HIV is not the core of who I am. . . my magic is. . . and so the magic shall prevail!
I hope to continue to inspire others who are living with, don't know or just learned they are newly diagnosed. . . magic in this world is much needed and I have a lot to give and share!
Again, thank you for following! It means a lot to me!
Sincerely,
Daniel
I sat last night and caught up on your blogs: since starting back to teaching school, I admit to falling behind - I found my hands covered in tears as I clicked the mouse to close off and hadn't realized I was even crying. I think that your story will inspire many - those who are infected with HIV or not; those who are simply feeling stigmatized or left out - you are doing an amazing thing! I am currently teaching fifth grade in Poughkeepsie and I have shared your plight (at a fifth grade level) with my class. We are big on the no bully zone and acceptance and tolerance and your story is a true insipration Dan! You have had many obstacles in your lifetime and yet, you can open your life to others to help them learn tolerance, grow and hopefully heal some yourself and that should be applauded. I wish that I could snuggle myself next to you, provide a hug an shoulder of support or simply a smile! You are doing magic with this blog. It may sound cliche but I am truly proud of you!
ReplyDelete-Didn't have an account to tag my comment so I stuck it as anonymous - but I will certainly be spreading your site to others and your message to others who simply aren't at the age to yet view your blog!
Smiles and love, Carleigh
Carleigh,
ReplyDeleteBeing a former Teacher (High School level), I can relate to how busy life becomes! Thank you for taking time out of what I believe is one of the most important roles in the lives of our growing youngsters. . . teaching!
I am smiles all over that you have shared some of my story with your 5th graders!
It is these moments. . . people like yourself, that make doing this blog by sharing the dark, the difficult, the easy and the sunshine moments of being open about my story so much easier.
Thank you for following and thank you for sharing!
Sincerely,
Daniel
Daniel,
ReplyDeleteI am a military rape victim (1998, September 28th to be exact). After the police reports and tests (how humiliating), I was "blamed". Nothing to do with HIV - not an issue. After that episode - I was released from duty (injured: non-combat) in 1999 - my dream.
I follow you because I see your hurt. I know that downward spiral regardless of what the root cause is. Unfortunately for you, [I assume]you suffer physical pain that reminds you of your condition on a daily basis. The only time I remember my pain is when I sleep at night and if I ever decide to date.. It's been some lonely years. I put myself in bad relationship situations because of the walls I built - and esteme issues. I see you coming through your anguish and I like to see that because I just have such a hard time doing it myself. I built my walls so strong, I can't figure out how to get any windows in there.
This reply to my anonomyous post is not for sympathy, but for you to know that I share hurtful feelings that can relate in some degree. Folks like "us" need the encouragement that we are doing a good thing and we don't have to justify why we do it, just know that people are there to support us.
Daniel, I support you and your blog. You are doing a great job. I wish you the best of luck.
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing a piece of your experiences with me (and those following). My heart, this very minute, coupled by goose bumps, is torn in emotion!
We must stick together and educate together! I am sending you many hugs - you have a new friend here so when you have those feelings of loneliness. . . together we have this little place to come back to put a smile on our faces. . . knowing we are doing a good thing!
Together we will figure out how to get through those windows we find closed! Fresh air is coming... just your comments alone breathed new air into my windows today. . . I now know I am not alone - thank you for taking the time to share. . . it helps me more than you know.
Again, thank you for following!
Your new friend,
Daniel