I am not sure about anyone else, but the holidays used to be
a horrid downer for me, specifically Thanksgiving. The year I was diagnosed
(2002) with HIV, I was pretty much estranged (disowned) from my family and I
have not spent one holiday with them since. That’s nine years of missing my
Grandma’s stuffing recipe, homemade pumpkin pies, a massive turkey special
ordered from the old-time butcher down the street and time spent with my entire
family.
Quite honestly, it’s depressing; I could say I am okay
inside, but I am not. It hurts. I know I
am not alone just by talking to a friend this morning who I know is going to
spend this holiday alone. I am saddened
by this. No one should be alone on this holiday. It took me a long time to tell
people that I would be alone on this holiday. It was painful to see
others with their families because inside I am missing the ‘family-bond’ love I
know I will never experience again.
It took years to heal this pain. It wasn’t until very recent
that I began to embrace all the new love that was coming into my life; realizing that the love being shown to me was not out of pity (as my HIV mental anguish would have me thinking), it was (and still is) pure love; acceptance that my friends really do love me . . . for me.
Today, I am very grateful that I have a new-found family of
amazing friends who have graciously extended their warm hearts and invited me
to into their homes to be part of Thanksgiving dinner. Ok seriously, there were
an overwhelming number of invites by friends . . . and the gratitude I feel for
such love cannot be expressed with simple words. . . but these simple words I
am about to say, I say with the most sincere love that my heart can express. .
. THANK YOU FRIENDS FOR YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
If you know of someone who might be alone or not sure if he/
she will be alone tomorrow, please reach out and give a little of yourself . .
. everyone deserves to be loved. It took me a long time to realize I was worth
my life living with HIV.
Today I am thankful for each breath I take when I wake in
the morning. I am thankful that I have discovered the strength within my soul
to live a life free of HIV mental anguish; I am thankful for the medications I
take every day - helping me to enjoy a long, prosperous life while giving me a
second chance to fulfill my dreams; I am thankful for all of my friends who
listen to me (especially when I am soooo self absorbed! Ha!); I am thankful for
those friends that are there no matter what; I am thankful for the courage to
share my story; I am thankful for the talents of magic and escape which I am continuing
to pursue; I am thankful for everything and anything simple in my life today; I
am thankful for the struggles which make me stronger; I am thankful for the
opportunity to fight ignorance and heal the world’s perception of those living
with HIV / AIDS.
Thank you followers and friends for standing by me all this
time. We have a lot of life to live and I looking forward to living it with
all of you!
Happy Thanksgiving - Love, hugs and life!
I am Daniel and I am living pozitively. Thank you for
following my blog!
Sweeeeeeeet!!!!! Happy turkey day!!!
ReplyDelete...Daniel, thanks for your honesty and good wishes!...I wish so many good things for you, mate...:-)...
ReplyDelete...Daniel, thanks for sharing yourself with us...I wish you peace & happiness & love for these trying times of the holidays...:-)...
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving Daniel .. I know how it feels to be alone, as my Family disowned me too. But it really didn't bother me that much, I can't deny that it does hurt that I am not a part of my family for the holidays, Specially Christmas, which is my fav holiday of any.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that it's always friends who come to the rescue. With the exception of Christmas , in which I have always been alone since I was 18. but thats okay.. I actually like the quietness and enjoy my decor I always put up.
I hope you have a great Thanksgiving and even though we don't know each other personally, I send you a big hub and a sweet kiss on the cheek .. hehe..
Always a Friend - Rain