Guaranteed my message to President Obama is dismissed: Hopefully I am proven wrong!

I am almost certain, as a little bee - in the bee-hive of the healing honey -  in support of the National HIV/AIDS Strategy -  in the fight aginst HIV/AIDS within our own nation, President Obama will never see this video or respond. . . let's see!  Share this message on your social media links!  Join me on Youtube, Twitter and Facebook to share this message!  I even guarantee Ellen DeGeneres our newly appointed HIV Envoy / Spokesperson will ignore this too! Prove me wrong!! I am watched by thousands across the nation.

Dear President Obama:

My name is Daniel Bauer, I am the official successor to the legendary escape artist Harry Houdini.

I am living with HIV/AIDS. I am in admiration of the National HIV/AIDS Strategy and in repsonse have renewed my commitment in bringing awareness about this National epidemic to ears and eyes of many.

I am stunned that on the National Level we have yet to attach a common FACE or VOICE of those like me who are willing to speak out loud in this fight to end AIDS. I want to be your national voice and face.

I have experienced the worst kind of discrimination and medical related issues attached to this illness. I want to be a force of hope and a message of life for the nation.

Please put me in touch with the people who can help make this happen.

My message is clear and followed by thousands internationally at http://www.livingpozitively.com

Let's win this fight together. Use my face, use my voice. . . only good can come from this!

I await your invitation.

I will blog and YouTube this same message in the next 7 days. Let's see if you, President Obama, are listening to my message -  to put myself out there to make a difference.

I am almost certain this message will be ignored. . .

If not, then there is hope and I will cry with amazement that you do listen!

With hope for life and dignity for all living with HIV/AIDS. . .,

Daniel Bauer,
I am living pozitively
www.livingpozitively.com

Panic Button!?! The F**K-F**K Train to H-I-Ville

Just how silly are you with your willy when you board the F**K-F**K train of orgasmic pleasure? Well, when the 'cockductor' says ALL-ABOARD you might want to seriously think twice and hit the panic button first before you decide to hop on without your condom-safety-belt! The ride might seem amazing at first, but in the long run you may just find out that your orgasmic journey made a wrong turn taking you straight to H-I-Ville.

My trip went something like this. . .

I had just finished a mind-blowing performance in California. With my partner waiting for me backstage, we went back to our hotel room and popped open a bottle of champagne to celebrate the standing ovation from a sold-out-crowd. The kissing starts, the clothes come off and we are naked in bed enjoying each and every touch. The erection in my dick told me so. Then he whispers into my ear , "Oh Daniel, I want to make pure love to you . . . I want to be with you completely for the rest of my life. . . let's do it! Let's make pure love!" (or something like that, god only knows I was feeling amazingly tipsy from the bubbly enhanced by the naked sensuality).

It was my own choice to feel the natural orgasmic feeling without hesitation or need to hit the panic button. I mean we were together for quite some time and I said to (more like asked) him, "We haven't been tested, are you sure this is okay, are you neg?" he replies, "Of course I am, let's do it. I want to be with you."

So, let me tell you, the feeling of an unwrapped penis up my hole was sensational! Ohhhhh God it FELT sooooo good! And for the next six months every time was unprotected sex. . . no testing! Just sex! Lots of sex! He was the one I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with! It was the best monogamous(?) relationship a guy could ever ask for! (Or so I thought).

Long story short, I was tested. Two weeks before I learned of the shocking news, he had packed up his stuff, I came home from a rehearsal and he was gone. To this day never have heard back from him.

I guess what I am trying to say is . . . was this one drunken stupor of a night worth it. Did he even know, did I know?  Honestly, it was my own stupidity that brought me to contracting the virus. I should have just hit the panic button! Told him to put the damn condom on and waited for both of us to get tested. Had his results come out positive, then we both would have known that unprotected sex could never happen. Love would have remained. . . we would just had to be a bit more vigilant in taking care of ourselves. Damn the bubbly! Damn the altered sensory in my mind to convince me to hop on the F**K-F**K train without protecting myself.

This whole thing was preventable. I chose NOT to say no and tell him to put the condom on. Today I am seeing this and hearing this all too often in all our various communities, (Gay, Straight. . . and everything in between).

HIV, while not a death sentence,  I could have prevented contracting. Now, I am living with it - with 100% dignity and respect for myself. I know I have a long life ahead of me, but simply put, one stupor moment, in the blink-of-an-eye. . . for the rest of my life, I have to now be vigilant about taking meds, having blood checked,  mapping out public restroom use (because the meds still 'eF' up my bowel system. . .) and much more.

So I am curious - why do people forget to hit the panic button before having sex. . . what message is NOT being communicated loud and clear that we should be sending to people about the risks of HIV/AIDS?

I am living with HIV and my situation was 100% preventable. I will live a long healthy life. My question to you is. . . Are you living with HIV? If not, are you taking the precautions to remain HIV free? If you don't know if you are HIV neg or poz, what is holding you back from getting tested?

I wish we both got tested. A test that preserves lives whether you have it or not. I believe it is better to know, than to think you don't have it or don't know if you have it.

When is the last time you were tested?!?

Is this message loud and clear?

I am Daniel and I am living pozitively.  Thank you for following my blog.

P.S. We all need more voices and friends in the fight against HIV/AIDS - both awareness and prevention. Help me be a larger force and voice in this journey - join me on facebook and follow me on twitter.

How I became “Princess Broken Rib. . .”

Have you ever had one of those days when the universe literally decides it wants to test the strength of your entire physical body to see just how much agony and pain you can withstand? Well, this past Monday, the ‘Gods of the Universe’ decided to pick me out of a billion people to put the challenge to the test! (I guess that statement might be a little grandiose, but hey, I admit I think the universe sometimes revolves around me! LOL).

It all started a week ago Monday at 2:00 a.m. – when I swung out of bed with a tooth ache that literally pierced my entire body. . . I ran to the bathroom medicine cabinet to find I was out of Advil! UGH! So I quickly put on my sneakers, sweats, a shirt and the first coat in sight then ran out the door, down the hill to the only 24 hour bodega that was open. And let me tell you it was damn cold outside! The blistering chill in the air was mild compared to the agony my tooth-ache was pounding into my body!

I get the Advil PM – and start running up the hill back to my apartment – wasting no time to tear open the little Advil pack and swallow those pills without water! I couldn’t take the pain for one more second! Back to my apartment I arrive, back in bed and finally, fall asleep! Shweeeeeew!

Seven O’clock a.m. rolls around, I wake up and the damn pain is back and this time even worse! I am on the phone with my friend Marty, I could barely concentrate on my words – he runs over with pain killers and in the meantime I am calling my dentist who I finally reach, and tells me he no longer takes my insurance! WTF??? (Oh in between all this I managed to get to the gym to try and lift weights thinking if the adrenaline was full speed ahead in my body, the pain would just stop. . . CLEARLY STUPID!)

So here I am – Martin Luther King Day – and I need to be seen NOW by a dentist, because I am supposed to be packed and out the door the following day on a weeklong trip to see friends Upstate, NY. Well, thank goodness for 1-800-DENIST – they were able to find me a Dentist who took my insurance and could see me same day – the only catch – it was an hour trip by NYC Transit to get there! So. . . I am off!!!

I have to take two busses to this Brooklyn based dentist. The first bus stops right at my front door – so easy done! I am on this bus for about 30 minutes, then somehow in looking for the next transefer stop, which I clearly missed, I stopped the bus immediately, got off and figured I would hopefully be close enough to find the transfer stop by walking. Well in my attempt to look cool as ever walking the streets of NYC, looking for the transfer stop, I tripped on a sidewalk, went flying through the air and slammed the left side of my body into the ground, knocking the wind out of me. I layed there for a couple minutes - watching people walk-by! ("Thanks fellow humans for taking the time to NOT STOP and see if I was okay!") Anyways, when I was coherent enough to begin standing up, I could barely move, the pain was piercing . . . soooooo piercing that I could barely breath or cough and I certainly could not move any upper-body part(s) an inch. F**K the pain. I swear this is like a really bad sequel to Humpty Dumpty! (And I said before, ALL the king's horses men just walked on by.)

So, I finally make it to the transfer bus; arrive to the dentist, sitting in the waiting area in agony – soooo much agony. He finally sees me and after he takes x-rays,, he says, “Daniel you need a root canal. I am going to start that now and we will finish it when you get back from your trip.” I was like, broken rib (I knew it was definitely broken at this point, didn’t need an x-ray for that!) – but to add a root canal on top of that! Great!! Well, things certainly couldn’t get any worse. . . So he starts the root canal process and magically gets rid of the tooth pain! YEAH!!!!!  BUTTTTTT then he looks at me with this ‘evil dentist smile’ and says "Daniel the upper right Wisdom Tooth has to come out. It is probably causing a lot of the pain as well. I have to take it out right now." Again, thinking to myself “WTF>???????”  So OUT goes the Wisdom Tooth!

Seriously! A Tooth ache that leads to a broken rib, a root canal, and an extracted wisdom tooth all in a 3 hour time frame????? REALLY!! What more could be thrown at me!!!!

Thankfully the dentist hooks me up with a myriad of pain killers and anti-biotics, and I am on my way back home to pack. 

Packing was painful enough! I could barely move to get all the items I needed to throw into a duffle bag. And let me tell you, waking up the next morning was even more painful. I could barely move, hiding the pain of my rib – though I will tell you my friends upstate, NY knew I was coming pain or no pain. I needed the time away to work on my book and haven’t seen them in a while. 

I get up there, and of course my friends are waiting on me hand-and-foot (more than usual – in my life style! As my friends usually think I am the Diva! – LOL) Oh well! So during the course of the trip – leave it to my friends to make fun of me for not doing a darn thing! (Except to lift my hands to pop pain killers every four hours).

(Oh I clearly got nooooo work done on my book - I couldn't concentrate at all!)

Ok yes, I was in pain, and it was nice to have my friends wait on me! It was not nice that they joked about it every second of the time I was there (even though I know it was all in jest).  We did have a lot of fun – and then towards the end of my stay, they say to me, “Oh Daniel, we have decided to give you a new nick-name.” Thinking to myself, Oh boy, what the hell did they come up with?!?

Daniel you have been inducted into your own Indian Tribe, now known as “Princess Broken-Rib.”

The moral to this story and my experience – if you ever break a rib, or go through a day of hell, and your friend’s pick on you! Let them! Just make sure you soak up all the “waiting on you hand and foot” you can – because in time you may earn your princess name – and honestly it will all be worth it!

Well, I guess no more straight-jacket practicing or escapes practicing for a while! This sucks!

To the ‘God’s of the Universe’, I passed your test; I am still standing through all your pain and the slurs of jest by the mortals!  What’s next??

I am Daniel, I am living pozitively! Thanks for following my blog!

A Duchess & a Ryan: Two generations of what life has become because they tried!

My friend Marty & Me

At my age of 38 and the start of Twenty-Twelve, rather than make a resolution (cause god only knows we keep them for like 2 months and then they vanish either cause we feel like we can’t achieve them and stop trying or ‘9-to-5’ life get’s in the way), I have decided to refocus all my energies on how I will make the best of my life given I am alive for a Century. (Which, I will fight to stay alive that long if I can help it! My HIV will not take me or my legacy down!!)

I hear all the time complaining, complaining, complaining by so many. “Oh woe’s me; I wish I had a better life. . . I wish I was doing something that made me happy . . . I wish my life didn’t turn out like this. . .” Well I have to say in response, “You want your life to be happy, then get off your ass and at least try with all your might to make it happy. “ 

I admit living a fulfilled life and going after your dreams is a lot of hard work . . . but damn create a legacy . . . your legacy! Fight for your life and don’t wait another minute to start because before you know it another year will go by in the blink of an eye - and I hate when that happens!

I was re-inspired this past New Year’s Eve by two distinct people who have proved to me happiness will come if we at least try. A Duchess and a Ryan is how I refer to them and they both are of distinct generations and both are truly amazing people who in my eye are the quintessence of “living” life to the fullest.

Duchess of Carnegie Hall & Me

I had the absolute honor, (special thanks to my very close friend Marty for making this happen), to meet and spend New Year’s Eve with Editta Sherman – The Duchess of Carnegie Hall. With my jaw dropped to the floor by just being in her presence, I was floored by her legacy that she made happen. She is one of the most respected and star-powered photographers of the Century! That’s right Century!! She is 98 years old!!!!! 

This woman fought to make her mark in life and she is still kicking strong. 

Look at how happy she is in this video below. Listen to all that she has accomplished . . . listen to how hard it was for her to make her life happy, especially after her husband passed.  Listen to how she fought, and fought and fought to live life. . . and she's still on a mission! It's insanely inspiring!!!!

I want and will fight for my own happiness – she has inspired me to do so! Her laugh, her simplicity, her passion to fight for what she wanted to accomplish and still wants to accomplish thrives deeply in my soul and fuels me.

Now, looking at this generation, I say to myself, who would I dare to compare to have the same soul, energy and passion for life that the Duchess possesses. Who in our young life time would serve as a role model to our next generations . . . who is the person we should follow . . . who is really trying and truly living life? 

To me, that person is a man by the name of Chris Ryan who I believe possesses every ounce of humility, passion and drive to etch his legacy in life unlike anyone I have ever met (well other than the Duchess and myself of course – ha!).  Talk about “trying” this guy is a genuine role model of what life could become just by trying and trying and trying!

Chris Ryan

I mean listen to this, Chris Ryan already has his legacy in motion set at his young age. He is an icon New York City promoter who defies the odds of creating events where life thrives and bounces all night long with limitless sizzle. You should experience the art of Chris Ryan whether you live here in New York City or plan to visit! And if reigning in as a heavy-weight in the “art-of-night-life” wasn’t enough, he has opened up his life to the world through his blog which gets me to think about how I live and think how I might live better. Now if that all still wasn’t enough this man still hits the pavement of life as hard as anyone I know. He has created an arena to shine the spotlight on worthy musical artists (Audio Fuzz) who have yet to be discovered (or we may never think to listen to).  His Audio Fuzz is really making a mark . . . so while he is not a Duchess – he is well on his way. . . (not to mention almost a Phd in Psychology, a poet and overall humble human who fights for his life. . . and the decency of others).

All of this because he tries! What a wickedly impressive role model.

So yeah, maybe after reading this some of you are silently saying to yourself, “who the ‘fuck’ cares!” Well honestly, I feel like many of us have gotten stuck in that mind set. I have certainly been there many times myself.  I sometimes forget that if I want life to happen, if I want to make a difference, if I want to make something of myself and share it with the world then I need to remember it is going to take a lot more than the wave of a magic wand – I have to get off my ass and work it hard to make it all happen. There is no excuse for not making your life happen except: “I didn't try!” or "I have HIV so I am gonna die anyway!!" Well with all due respect these excuses are old, tired and lame.

While I have only met the Duchess once and have only met Chris Ryan once, I am uber inspired to continue to stay off my ass and kick up the drive of life to “full speed ahead”. So I guess what I am saying is, learn from the Duchess – learn from Chris Ryan. . . and be inspired. . . go after your legacy. I am certainly going after mine!

So I raise my champagne glass of life to you – Duchess and Chris Ryan - for showing us what life is like if we do try really hard! Life can be full and happy, our legacy can be etched . . . *clink*.

I know the Duchess will make it (and likely surpass 100 years old). And, Imagine where Chris Ryan will be when he is 98. Damn, imagine where I (or even you) could be at 98. The dream of making a Century of life – the blood, sweat, tears and smiles - it's a lot of work but I am ready to conquer! Okay. . . enough key punching, I am off to make this year another accomplished one. I am 38 and my goal is to LIVE 62 more years! That’s a lot of living to do and I am freaking psyched! Are you psyched about your life? If not. . . get off your ass and get psyched. Make life happen! Try! 

I am Daniel and I am living pozitively. Thank you for following my blog.

p.s. Need more inspiration in your life? Friend me on Facebook or Follow me on Twitter!

Dignity for all man-kind as the clock strikes 2012.

Looking back on this year, I have made mistakes, I have struggled, I have fought and I have conquered.  Most of all, I am proud of myself for fighting to live. . . I am still standing tall with pride and I am truly proud of who I have become today.  I am proud of all the things I have accomplished and will accomplish. 

I am living with HIV but most of all I am living with dignity.

Before the clock strikes twenty-twelve . . . I wanted to share a closing message of hope and life with you. I hope you will listen . . . and share my message with others.

I would not have grown to be who I am today without the inspiration, support and dedication of many who work tirelessly in the fight against HIV/AIDS.  While I can’t list all those who have been there for me. . . below are some who I believe deserve some special recognition  - these are my top five 2011 warriors in the fight for dignity and love of all man-kind.

# 1: My Friends! Over the last year it is the unconditional love and support of friends that continue to allow me to feel safe. Through all the tough times, the exciting times . . . every minute of every hour of every day my circle of friends, personal and virtual have shown the most powerful, unconditional expressions and support of love. You all are a rare circle of trust and love that no matter the struggle, no matter the excitement when achieving something great – you are always there! You are all number one in my life and I want to thank you for helping me to stand tall as we close 2011 and I look forward to all of us growing together as the adventure of life continues in 2012.

#2: The Team at PositiveLite.com! This team of bloggers and writers truly get it! With an endless effort to bring readers incredible stories of inspiration and hope, I am addicted to getting my daily dose of hope from this online publication. If you are not tuned in or subscribed to the PositiveLite.com feeds . . . get in the know today to get your dose of hope and life!

#3: The Poz I Am Social Network and Blog Talk Radio! RobertBreining – founder of the Poz I Am Social Network truly has mastered the “social-environment” for people living with HIV/AIDS spot on! Anyone living with HIV/AIDS who needs a safe place that is built on support, truly inspiring virtual friends, blogs, messages of hope and more, then this place is for you. There is no other HIV social community that can top this one – so get on board today! If the social network was not enough, Robert Breining also hosts (with co-hosts Jeromy Dunn and Jack Mackenroth) a weekly Blog Talk Radio Show. . . I listen as often as I can, so I can 'hear' that I am not alone; so that I can ask questions and learn how others are fighting and living with HIV/AIDS.  If you have not tuned in already . . . TUNE IN! The show is every Sunday at 9 PM!

#4: Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC)! This non-profit organization is a hub of hope for all gay men living with HIV/AIDS. A safe-haven where anyone living in the New York City area who is dealing with a wide range of issues trying to fight his battle with HIV/AIDS can turn to for help, guidance, support and tools to win the fight of life. If you live in NYC and need help – turn to this organization. If you are looking for a place to donate before the clock strikes midnight (or even after) GMHC is the organization everyone should consider making a donation . . . their work is vital and saves lives.

#5: My Twitter Followers! While I am new to Twitter, I have never been more inspired by networking and following the thousands of inspiring tweets filled with hope, news and much more. All of my Twitter followers deserve a standing ovation for inspiring me, keeping me in the know and staying with me as I continue to share my story openly with the world. If you are on Twitter and have not connected with me, Follow me now . . . and connect with all of my followers who continue to do great, great things for all those living with HIV / AIDS.

So as 2011 comes to an end; remember another great year is upon us. Let’s all continue to do awesome things! Let’s work together – let’s join forces – let’s LOVE each other unconditionally! We will win this fight together!

I am Daniel and I am living pozitively. Thank you for following my blog! Happy New Year!

Rock'n around the tree this holiday season. . .

I am sending you the most joyous wishes during this Holiday Season as you gather around the Christmas Tree or light the Hanukkah Menorah to spend time together with loved ones, family and friends. I am deeply grateful for all of your unconditional love and support as I continue to share my life so openly with the world.

While this Christmas I am once again without family, I certainly am far from alone as I am blessed to have such a new family full of love. I have the most amazing friends who helped me to find the spirit and cheer for this holiday season. A special, special thank you to M.A., D.L., D.M., T.B., J.D. and R.G. for always being there! Below is a little holiday dance I jib-jabbed up to show you just how happy you all have made me feel. I feel ALIVE and there is no other gift I could have ever asked from Santa this year than this. So again, thank you all - and HAPPY, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

I am Daniel and I am living pozitively. Thank you for following my blog! Remember you can continue to follow my story on twitter or friend me on facebook.

LIVE your life with fun!

Looking through my previous posts, I realized that much of what I am writing about is always on the serious side about living with HIV/AIDS. I admit I sometimes get so wrapped up in my advocacy efforts as well as being caught up, brooding about the random changes that might be happening with my body (such as when I see a bump or something. . . I freak out thinking my HIV is attacking me, when in actuality it is just a darn mosquito bite or a zit). I guess what I am trying to say is that while living with HIV (both the stigma and the disease itself) is very serious and requires daily management, I have to sometimes just forget about all the hate in the world some people still have towards people living with HIV/AIDS.  I have to just swallow my handful of pills in the morning. . . and simply LIVE. . . which in the last few weeks has been a blast! It's so important for me (and anyone for that matter living with and without HIV) to find ways to stay stress-free and be diligently conscious about maintaining a fun, healthy life-style.  I make it a mission to live an adventure each and everyday I wake up.

This past week I took to the streets of New York City (my concrete jungle of a home) and have accomplished so much. . . and I ask you. . . what have you accomplished over the past few weeks? What have you done to LIVE?

Some of you may recall a previous post back from October where I shared that I am on this workout kick - a personal goal to try and achieve that magazine ripped body look I have always wanted. Well, I am making some great progress. I am hitting the gym about 5 days a week doing a myriad of muscle group focused intense workouts, and now on the hunt for a wicked cardio routine that will shred my core. I tossed out all of my junk food (literally scowling all of my cabinets with anything and everything that is unhealthy- and I have switched to an almost completely organic diet - including all my meats, greens, fruits and ice cream!) I feel a million times better about what I am putting in my body and I am finding that I have a lot more energy to get through my day with focus. Hopefully my darn abs will start popping out soon!

Me, Mimi Stern-Wolfe & Rohan Spong

I also have spent time with friends! A healthy social life is uber-important! I have seen a few movies (including Hugo - which I thought sucked big-time!) However on World AIDS Day, I did see this one documentary, All the Way Through Evening, Directed by the very cool Ausee Rohan Spong, which takes us on a journey into Mimi Stern-Wolfe's life and the concerts she gives every year to remember and celebrate the works of composers who have passed on. The film genuinely captured the careful, sensitive humanitarian aspect of Mimi's dedication to embracing how important it is for all of us to take time to remember important history such as the work of these will-never-be-forgotten composers who bravely fought (and unfortunately lost) their battle to HIV/AIDS.

Stop! Listen, touch, look and taste! When on an adventure of living life do you ever take a moment to just enjoy the 'present' moment you are in? I almost forget to do this all the time. Especially here in NYC, when walking down the sidewalks buried in the hustle and bustle with my headphones on. I will walk several blocks, stop at a cross signal when directed and think to myself 'how the heck did I just get here. . .' realizing I probably passed some nifty things to check out. . . or action on the streets. So these past few weeks I have been really conscious about remaining in the 'now'. One of the cooler things I got to experience was the Lady Gaga thingy at Barney's. I took a picture of one of the window displays so anyone not living in NYC who wants a glimpse of Gaga's wild world that I admire - check out what I saw when I was staying 'in the moment'.

I have to admit, it's pretty cool exploring New York City (well exploring no matter where I am); and really taking in each breath of life. The feeling totally rocks. . . and after a day of true adventure of life, I sit down on my couch and think to myself 'damn it's great to be alive'; can't wait to do it again tomorrow.

Artwork by: Chris Morgan

When tomorrow does arrive (which it does every day for me) I am sure to put into motion action steps to continue to get one step closer to achieving all my goals. I am making some incredible headway into my book INSANE IN THE METH-BRAIN, and hope to have it finally up and ready for publishing early Spring. I am also working on the production 'ALIVE' (again check out that previous post where I talked about all this. . .). I am not sure when this will debut as I am trying to secure producers and investors; however in the interim I am creating a new smaller show "BEYOND BELIEF" which I hope to open here in NYC sometime this Spring or early Summer. The groovy art work you see here, is going to be the main backbone of the stage setting for a story of magic and escape to be told! Kudos to Chris Morgan for his brilliantly genius creativity in making this happen for me! (This piece is currently hanging on one of my walls just over my couch in the living room)! (Modest much - ha!)

So I am curious. . . with all that I shared with you about how I have been living life. . . moving ahead in life to do the things I love most. . . did you forget I was HIV positive? I did! The virus doesn't live me. . . I live me! So for anyone stumbling on my little blog. . . stop reading. . . yes! Right now! and Go LIVE the day away!

I am Daniel and I am living pozitively. Thank you for following my blog.

Oh, p.s. - want to stay in touch more with me about what's going on in my life, and also so I can follow your life events too? - friend me on facebook!